#Shady Excellency For President In 2015? You Bet!

Hello everyone! Y'all alive and chillin' like villains? I suppose. Okay, at this point, I'm pretty sure you all are tired of me always apologising for my lengthy disappearing acts, right? So there's really no point in me regurgitating some cooked up apology on why I haven't written an article in a long while. I think I'll just console myself with the delusional belief that I'm kinda special like christmas - As in, I come once in a year. Maybe twice. Or thrice. Whatever. Perverts, do NOT distort that innocent statement!

Who Are We...?

Hello folks! How's everybody doing? Chillin like villains, I suppose? Great. It's been a while I was active on here, and I apologise for my unsanctioned disappearing act. Life took over, I guess. Oh well, I hope all my 'numerous' readers didn't miss me too much, did y'all? .. [oh, and by 'numerous' readers, I mean all 3 of them!] Lol.

Anyways, with that out of the way, let's delve right into the meat of the matter. So yeah, since the last time I had an article up, lots of interesting 'happenings' have occurred in and around our dear nation, Nigeria. Happenings that I admit, I really should have written about at the time.. But I guess a man is allowed to be lazy every once in a while, yeah? Just kidding. {Not really}..  Nonetheless, the bullet-points of some of these interesting 'happenings' can be summarised as follows:-

Nelson Mandela: Unconnected......But Connected: What Madiba Meant To Me

In early December 2013, the world lost a great man. Nelson Mandela, in all his glory, finally departed.. Consequently, numerous beautiful tributes, documentaries and dedicated write-ups in honour of this great man followed..

But, try as I might, I just couldn't think up something worthy and befitting enough to write in honour of this great man. I mean, come to think of it, what else is there to say about Nelson Mandela? What other words can be used to describe this modern day legend? What tales haven't been told? What biographies haven't been compiled? What tributes haven't been penned?... Simply put, when it came to Madiba, I was at a loss for words..

Then it happened.. 

ENGLISH LANGUAGE? OH LET'S MURDER IT! {THE 'ABBREVIATORS'}

Helo frendz nd readaz! Ow av yhu al bin doin? Eye ope yhu r al doin gr8! Am also doin 1derful 2, 10nx!... 4 tudae's aticul, we r gonna b talkin bout d gramma ov d Inglish Langwage nd ow best it kan b murdered.. O yes, 2dae we basicaly take a luk at d numerous wayz ov 'abbreviating' and 'funkifying' inglish langwage expecially in social media chatz nd oda in4mal wrait-ups... Eye rili ope yhu stay wiv mi 4 d ride bcuz itz gonna b entatainin, edukatin...........and stupid.

...Hold on.. Are you scratching your head? Are you thinking I've suddenly run mad? Is your brain in a muddle? Are you confused?....... Well, so am I too!  No fear then, for we are in the same boat.. Yes, that first paragraph above has absolutely scrambled my brain!

THE "OTHERS" {MY 'WOMB-SHARERS'}

                    

Hmm.... Ok, how do I even begin this?

So yeah, I’ve got some free time, and I’m laying on my bed thinking of what topic to write on... But try as I might, I seemingly can’t focus my mind on a befitting subject matter and as I’m about to give up and continue with my Eminem documentary concert on youtube, IT FINALLY HITS ME!!.. “Junior”, I say to myself, “why don’t you write on those other people who had the guts to share the same womb with you?".. Needless to say, it seems a good idea to my ‘writers-blocked’ brain and my mind’s disparaging mode is thus activated. More on that later... So here we are, that naughty light bulb in my brain has lazily flickered on and is suddenly shining bright. And the subject of its mischief – Yep, that’s right - MY FRIGGIN' SIBLINGS!

LET'S TALK ABOUT ABORTION

Abortion. An act that is quite prevalent and heavily permeated in almost every society. Ironically, it is also an act that seems an abomination and usually spoken about in hushed tones. Not so anymore. Today, we address the elephant in the room. Today, we talk about abortion, unsentimentally - With rationality. With logic. With common sense.

MOTHERHOOD: Joys & Celebration

It has been described as being ‘indescribable’. An awesome feeling. The most out-of-this-world experience. A beautiful thing. Quite common, but still beautiful nonetheless. An amazing happening that gets even more amazing each and every time it happens.. Prior pains of maternal labour transcended into sweet golden moments enveloped with heavenly emotions… The birthing of a child. Earth’s newest, littlest occupant. A majestic entrance into an expecting world.  It is the beginning, but it’s quite possibly the absolute pinnacle of our very existence.. Of course, all lovingly guided by a woman. By women. By a mother. By mothers.  Welcome to a celebration. Welcome to the joys of motherhood.

The Role Of Technology In Combating Corruption In Nigeria: A CASE STUDY OF 'POLICING THE POLICE'

The term ‘Police’ should automatically bring succour, secure relief and safety reassurance to every citizen. Unfortunately, in our country, this is not so. When the average Nigerian citizen thinks of the Nigerian Police Force, he immediately thinks of bribery, corruption, unwarranted harassment, stray bullets, molestation, accidental deaths, ineptitude, mediocrity and general lawlessness.  Basically, what comes to his mind is the opposite of what the police should actually stand for. How unfortunate. How sad. How despicable.

Tribalism, Ethnicity And Racism : NO! .... Common Sense, Tolerance And Nationalism : YES!

I am a Nigerian. I admit I am not exactly the most renowned writer, as this could probably be called my maiden piece. Having said that though, I consider myself a thought writer, and I feel thought-writing is subjective; if they are your thoughts, then no-one else can write them as well as you can think them. Thus, this piece should be judged and understood accordingly.